Go Ahead and Tell Me What To Do. What AA is NOT.

You can’t tell me what to do. Is that because I’m an alcoholic or is there another reason? I know I have what is called, "issues". However, history tells us not many people got sober before Alcoholics Anonymous came along. AA busted out with a different idea: people helping people instead of doctors and lawyers and police and family members. Whether the people who cared but weren’t alcoholics spoke in a reasonable tone of voice or had a meltdown at the identified patient, their involvement hadn’t been working at all with alcoholics. Are we defiant or just plain bent on self-destruction? Because we become better over time. We find love and compassion. We stop being the person with the murderous thoughts and instead are saying nice things and creating gifts for those we hated.

What was happening in AA? What is the difference between AA and medicine or law or family pressure? On one hand you are working with a trained professional who can describe to you what is going to happen to your brain cells or list the legal consequences you may face if you keep on drinking. Yet, as I and many other alcoholics found out, that method of information delivery or being threatened simply didn’t work. What was working however was when one person, one human being could tell their story and listen to another human being’s story and the two of them could hear each other and meet on a soul level. They could identify with each other, offering hope for the future because one of them had achieved sobriety. Isn't it amazing how simply being a decent human being could lead to a life saved if not from death, at least from mediocrity and what I call, "evil" intentions.

What happens between these two people when science and logic fail? I call it connection.  I call it dignity. I call it being allowed to drop my façade of pride and my mantle of shame because there is a “we” that I relate to and want to invest in.  That’s how we get and stay sober. We have that moment when we are awakened with understanding of what a human being really is and that we are one. We are flawed and we can "own" our flaws because they are what gave understanding to us.