Hundreds of successful men and women have walked out our door to a life they could not imagine could be so good. And why is it so good? Because they are 'sober'. So define 'sober' and better yet, what is the underlying support that ensures long-term recover?
Often we define 'sober' as being without. Without drinking, smoking or indulging in behaviors like over eating or obsessing; is that 'sober'? on one level it is. But does that last? What happens when there is a bump in the road? Are you equipped when you're go to was either drinking and hoping it would go away, which it will eventually. Or, drinking, etc., and getting angry.
Sober isn't just being without. It's having skills, baby. And skills are where the work comes into play. Work at interacting with others. Work at following directions. Why? Because when you follow directions things are less complicated. No cover-ups. No do-overs. No lost of face, no loss of integrity. No going to the store for extra parts (if its furniture). What is your life lesson? That you can be average and survive. That's a big one for people who have an ego that bigger than most houses.
Next up is the mental equity you think is you. Work at being honest. Work at accepting that you can't be right all the time and that's not a big deal. Work at kindness and lose the gruff exterior. It makes you less appealing, not more. Bill Wilson said it best, "that will to win came back."
That's sobriety. It takes being close to people. If you work at home, that's difficult. If you live alone or with people you have been fighting with or lying to, it's very , very difficult to change that script. There will be fails interspersed with successes. It is easier to go to sober living when that's the case.