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Why I Love EMDR, Neurofeedback and Other Ways to Open the Door to Your Other Feelings

  • Lisa Ferguson
  • Feb 1, 2023
  • 2 min read

Updated: Feb 12, 2023

In the beginning of my recovery there was Fear. I had one feeling. I feared everything. I only went to one meeting a week because of my fear of meeting new people, my fear of appearing incompetent, my fear of running into someone I had been rude to when I was drinking and drugging. Most of all, my fear of being wrong and having to apologize.


With 12-step self-examination at my side (it is very helpful to know I can be wrong, especially when it turns out to be hilarious to my friends in 12-step) and CBT resolutions in mind, I set forth. I went to 12-step meetings, and I somehow stayed sober. And I functioned at work. Some of us eat, some of us smoked. I choose eating. I would eat my way through life to keep my feelings at bay.


A close friend of mine changed into a happy person who loved the world. I was stumped and thought, she had upped her meds. She told me she did EMDR and lowered her meds. Her world had changed, and I wanted what she was drinking.


So, I tried it. I made my list (similar to my fourth step list but including childhood resentments). It took three and a half years to get through everything. I am afraid to tell you, it had taken nearly thirty years to talk my way through it. I even uncovered stuff that made my stomach do little flip flops that I had not even noticed before.


I relaxed. Fear was not part of my every minute. Because I faced my fears in seconds and minutes (with EMDR it is hard to ruminate) and allowed my brain to do what it is supposed to do, sort through the mess and, in doing so, heal itself. My behavior changed. Not only was out of fight or flight, but I made room for my other feelings. My repertoire of feelings is now full on a daily basis. Rather than being guided by reaction, I'm in touch with my thoughts and my feelings at the same time. I know that doesn't sound like much, but for someone with PTSD, it is a miracle. If PTSD is a brain function, I wonder if not being bothered by most of life's challenges, but instead, meeting them with careful examination means that that I'm normal.


Now I'll fly alone across the country to meet new people. I apologize right away when I'm in the wrong and it doesn't bother me. Not because I did CBT and DBT therapy and the 12-steps for many years but because I did the brain work. I turned off my flight or fight responses that had built up in resentments. AA talks about them as being the number cause of our relapse. I didn't even know I had resentments that lurked under skin, went through my veins until they were gone.

 
 
 

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On the beautiful Connecticut shore, we own and operate two gender-specific homes: a men's and a women's house in the towns of Clinton and Madison. In safe and comfortable sober houses, each offers a community where we get well and find purpose.

​1. Assess each potential resident’s needs and determine whether the level of support available within the residence is appropriate. Provide assistance to the resident for referral in or outside of the residence.

2. Value diversity and non-discrimination.

3. Provide a safe, homelike environment that meets NARR Standards.

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4. Maintain an alcohol- and illicit-drug-free environment.

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5. Honor your right to choose your recovery paths within the parameters defined by the residence organization.

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6. Protect your privacy and personal rights.

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7. Provide consistent and uniformly applied rules.

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8. Provide for the health, safety and welfare of each resident.

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9. Address each resident fairly in all situations.

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10. Encourage you to sustain relationships with professionals, recovery support service providers and allies.

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11. Take appropriate action to stop intimidation, bullying, sexual harassment and/or otherwise threatening behavior of residents, staff and visitors within the residence.

12. Take appropriate action to stop retribution, intimidation, or any negative consequences that could occur as the result of a grievance or complaint.

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13. Provide consistent, fair practices for drug testing that promote your recovery and the health and safety of the recovery environment and protect the privacy of resident information to the extent allowed by law.

14. Provide an environment in which each resident’s recovery needs are the primary factors in all decision making.

 

15. Promote the residence with marketing or advertising that is supported by accurate, open and honest claims.

 

16. Decline taking an active role in the recovery plans of relatives, close friends, and/or business acquaintances who may apply to live in the recovery residence.

 

17. Sustain transparency in operational and financial decisions.

 

18. Maintain clear personal and professional boundaries.

 

19. Operate within the residence’s scope of service and within professional training and credentials.

 

20. Maintain an environment that promotes the peace and safety of the surrounding neighborhood and the community at large.

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